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She was born, cursed to misery
For from misery she was born
Brought up into poverty
And to poverty she is sworn

A life of labor is her fate
And nothing in return
No matter how long she decides to wait
Not a penny she will earn

And every lover that she'll ever know
Will never truly love her
And every heartbreak she'll have to undergo.
Will have been something she tried to deter.

For she was born, cursed to misery
For from misery she was born
And everyday will pass by bitterly
And she'll be left forlorn.
This is definitely one of my most depressing/pessimistic poems.
What's even worst is it's all based off of truth. ):
No worries, it's not about me.


Copyright Laurelle
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:iconmoto-jahk-fwah:
The cadence of the poem fits particularly well with the atmosphere of pessimism and capitulation, seeming to be slow and steady. The story, although short, is full enough to paint a bleak picture of the existence of our antagonist while being short enough on details to allow the reader to use their imaginations. I felt like occasionally the poem possibly rhymed for the sake of rhyming but I couldn't call that something I'd criticize since it still worked well. The Arc of the poem was also satisfyingly well opened and closed and I think it would sound good read aloud.

Over all I thought that, even though it was short, it was stylistically satisfying and emotionally compelling.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconchancerox:
chancerox Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is absolutely wonderfull. i love it so much. 
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Professional Artist
thank you very much :D
Reply
:icongrg123wntn:
grg123wntn Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
some of the best literature is inspired by misery or discusses it in some way. this is my favorite of the bunch. very nice work Laura.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Professional Artist
yes, sadly.
Thank you
Reply
:iconernestabacus:
ErnestAbacus Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There have been many people in my life that have had an aura of doom around them. Not one that someone could just see, but an aura that appeared in your vision once you got to know them. You just knew there was no way out. For a person like me, it's an awful, maddening thing to see. I have little fragments of writings like this lying around, each one for a friend mired in slow, congealing doom.

Mine aren't this poetically concise, though.
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012  Student General Artist
The poem is really deep.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012  Professional Artist
thank you!
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconricharddgelina:
richarddgelina Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
So very sad. It's heartbreaking.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012  Professional Artist
thank you!
Reply
:iconstrange:
strange Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This is absolutely beautiful, but very sad :(
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011  Student General Artist
The mood in this is splendid. Well written in my opinion.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011  Professional Artist
thanks! :D
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011  Student General Artist
You're welcome. =)
Reply
:iconhieloh:
Hieloh Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
:(
Reply
:iconrb5374:
rb5374 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Beautifully done. It reminds me of another model in the 60's that was friends with Andy Warhol. Edie Sedgewik I think her name was.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Professional Artist
thanks :)
Reply
:iconharrsy123:
harrsy123 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Student Digital Artist
amazing
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Professional Artist
thanks!
Reply
:icondrevtham:
DREVTHAM Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
Wonderfully written. Wish I could give you a hug though.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Professional Artist
thank you, but its not about me so no worries :)
Reply
:icondrevtham:
DREVTHAM Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011
Good to know! Would suck if it was!
Reply
:iconkebarzivo:
Kebarzivo Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2011
That's quite sad. :(
Reply
:iconloccus:
loccus Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011   General Artist
Excellent poem. It touched my imagination as far as visualizing the story in my head. I have zero idea why, but I think of a girl who is alone and lost on the streets of Paris. :)
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2011  Professional Artist
thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconaurora0x0:
aurora0x0 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
This is more about the subject's insecurity than reality. It goes away with age, don't worry. :)
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2011  Professional Artist
This isn't about me, and that person is past the age of insecurity, trust me.
Reply
:iconaurora0x0:
aurora0x0 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
No one is past the age of insecurity. :)
Reply
:iconwishinguponthestars:
WishingUponTheStars Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011
I love this. The mood is consistent throughout, and it flows really well.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
thank you!
Reply
:icondoodelay:
Doodelay Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Student Writer
title is just way too long
great poetry though
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
thanks :)
Reply
:iconjoker-gse:
joker-gse Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011
que espesa la atmósfera del poema
Reply
:icondeathbycuteness:
deathbycuteness Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Student General Artist
Beautiful poetry! Hope I have a good talent at poetry like you
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
aww thanks
Reply
:icongiokru:
giokru Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
...the title of it could easily be 'hopeless', but this is not meant to be a criticist sentence.
i find i would greatly fit with the intention of a song, meaning it could be a good basis to write a song on.
maybe someone here will take this chance and try, maybe myself.
sad, hopeless and 'good sounding'... isn't it funny how deep sadness fits with good art?
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
I was thinking: Her Misery
But eh, this was its original title so I kept it.
Reply
:icongiokru:
giokru Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011
i think that was well done ;)
Reply
:iconkion-art:
KION-ART Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
Great poem , I like!!
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:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
:D
Reply
:iconmist3rthr33:
Mist3rThr33 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I liked reading it despite it having that feeling of tragedy to it. :glomp:
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
thanks!
Reply
:iconmist3rthr33:
Mist3rThr33 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome X)
Reply
:iconwolf-in-gray:
Wolf-in-gray Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
Well, yes, it's truly depressing when every thing turn wrong (WRONG the way that we want it to be)
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2011  Professional Artist
): yea
Reply
:iconstevenshadow2004:
stevenshadow2004 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
im scared and happy mix about it
Reply
:icongiobfree:
GioBfree Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
it reminds me somehow of the poems by William Blake (SOngs of experience)
Reply
:iconcheckerknights:
checkerknights Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
how said lady Laurelle, but it was well put non the less. and very devised for a poem.

keep up your good work.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011  Professional Artist
thank you!
Reply
:icongrom23:
Grom23 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
You're getting better at this, nice piece :)
Reply
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