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Submitted on
December 15, 2011
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She was born, cursed to misery
For from misery she was born
Brought up into poverty
And to poverty she is sworn

A life of labor is her fate
And nothing in return
No matter how long she decides to wait
Not a penny she will earn

And every lover that she'll ever know
Will never truly love her
And every heartbreak she'll have to undergo.
Will have been something she tried to deter.

For she was born, cursed to misery
For from misery she was born
And everyday will pass by bitterly
And she'll be left forlorn.
This is definitely one of my most depressing/pessimistic poems.
What's even worst is it's all based off of truth. ):
No worries, it's not about me.


Copyright Laurelle
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:iconmoto-jahk-fwah:
The cadence of the poem fits particularly well with the atmosphere of pessimism and capitulation, seeming to be slow and steady. The story, although short, is full enough to paint a bleak picture of the existence of our antagonist while being short enough on details to allow the reader to use their imaginations. I felt like occasionally the poem possibly rhymed for the sake of rhyming but I couldn't call that something I'd criticize since it still worked well. The Arc of the poem was also satisfyingly well opened and closed and I think it would sound good read aloud.

Over all I thought that, even though it was short, it was stylistically satisfying and emotionally compelling.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconchancerox:
chancerox Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is absolutely wonderfull. i love it so much. 
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:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013  Professional Artist
thank you very much :D
Reply
:icongrg123wntn:
grg123wntn Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
some of the best literature is inspired by misery or discusses it in some way. this is my favorite of the bunch. very nice work Laura.
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:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Professional Artist
yes, sadly.
Thank you
Reply
:iconernestabacus:
ErnestAbacus Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There have been many people in my life that have had an aura of doom around them. Not one that someone could just see, but an aura that appeared in your vision once you got to know them. You just knew there was no way out. For a person like me, it's an awful, maddening thing to see. I have little fragments of writings like this lying around, each one for a friend mired in slow, congealing doom.

Mine aren't this poetically concise, though.
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:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012  Student General Artist
The poem is really deep.
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:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012  Professional Artist
thank you!
Reply
:iconandrewzheng:
AndrewZheng Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconricharddgelina:
richarddgelina Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
So very sad. It's heartbreaking.
Reply
:iconmisslaurelle:
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2012  Professional Artist
thank you!
Reply
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