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Depression and Strength by Violin100

writings and quotations by blackrosevinnessa

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Submitted on
February 19, 2013
File Size
939 bytes


54 (who?)
She clings to this dream,
but as if it were water - it slowly slips from her grip.
Every drop fallen, a missed opportunity.
Every crack between her fingers, so out of her control.
Helpless to her own undoing, she struggles to hold on.
Wondering how real it all was from the beginning.
Has she truly fooled herself?
Is it even worth still carrying on?
Letting go would simply end it all,
The struggles, the helplessness and the hurt.
But hope is the only thing stopping her.
Like a beggar on the streets, she hopes for someone to help fill the cracks,
For someone to give her the chance to overflow with opportunities once again.
For someone to believe in her.
And so with that little bit of dwindling hope,
She waits and watches as people go by.
Ok so I know this poem isn't as good as my usual ones but it definitely puts out the message I had in mind.
I was more trying to work on imagery, anyways I'm kinda out of practice.
Wrote it in 30 mins.

Let me know what you think
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Miss Laurelle is awesome.

She is talented and beautiful and if Miss Laurelle was licensed into a gel product. I would have so many buckets of that product I would drown in it.

I could be accused of being a zealous super fan, but I prefer to believe I am simply basking in the light of the star we know as Miss Laurelle.:iconluvluvplz:

Miss Laurelle's poem conjures vivid images wrapped with intense emotions.
Her work is easily understood by anyone who has chased a dream or wished for what they thought might be impossible.

Most likely we've all been in this situation, wanting more say in our lives, a little more control over events or situations, the ability to affect a dream or desire.

That's what Miss Laurelle's poem is for me. I unapologetically love it!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

This was an outstanding piece of poetry. Your successful use of imagery really transports you to the subjects world and frame of mind. I really liked lines two through four. The pain and the indecision that she is going through is so relatable without even knowing the specifics of her pain. The beggar on the street reference also helps illuminate the extent of her desperation. There are numerous uses of water as symbolism here and it really helps to cohesively tie the piece together. Although the subject is left with a small amount of hope, it seems to be futile and I like that the subject may nit have a happy ending. Very impressed with this effort and your work as a whole.
What do you think?
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6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

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6Thereaper Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Student Filmographer
I kinda disagree.
The Analogy you made works more with Life as a whole. 
especially in the part where you said "slowly slips from her grip" .
life and the way it goes is like a water stream chaotic but stable (in most of the cases). Dreams, on the other hand is like that valuable thing that you keep away from anybody that provides you with  strength to move on a post card with the picture of Venice , a father's dog tag or an amulet from your mother.  
In general you did a great job. 
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Professional Artist
I understand your point of view.
I truly wrote what I felt though.
6Thereaper Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Student Filmographer
don't take it personal, "your RED isn't my RED".
DominoGalbraith Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
I stumbled upon this when I was feeling a bit bereft of hope. Your verses are good and it almost captured my feeling. Notice, I say 'almost'. It actually inspired me to write down what I felt exactly. Here is a link if you'd like to read it . Ummm....yeah... I kinda lied when I said I was feeling 'a bit bereft of hope'...I was totally in the dumps. And this is my first submission on dA...also my first poem since high school.  Hope you don't mind me naming my poem so similar to yours, I kinda started writing it like a continuation to your poem but I got carried away.
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013  Professional Artist
interesting poem, very different from what mine was trying to portray.

All the best to you,
DominoGalbraith Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Well yes...your poem is hopeful while mine is ...ummm....'hopeless' isn't the right word...'defeated'? maybe?

Thanks :)
000SkyArrow000 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist are so talent....that one was the first poetry I read in your gallery and I am little surprise for you comment that one wasn't " as good as you usual post here" ....I love read poems and poetries.....but because the time I try read slowly...and much more than the time....I like take a time to appreciate each words properly when I like it....I admit I like to notice the feelings between the words...I am happy to found that folder....^^
MissLaurelle Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Professional Artist
:) thank you for the kind words!
000SkyArrow000 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome...^^
Von3991 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013
it's sad, but like your other poems it's also really beautiful. I also feel like I can relate to this. well done! :)
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